


Without darkness we can't see the stars

by ThisBeautifulChaos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Harry, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, High School Student Harry, High School Student Louis, Liam Payne & Harry Styles Friendship, M/M, Popular Louis, Preppy Louis, Sad Harry, Shy Harry, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 13:04:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3291338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisBeautifulChaos/pseuds/ThisBeautifulChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry’s life had never been easy. With his mum being a struggling alcoholic and his dad completely abandoning them, him and his mum were forced to pack up their things and move from Cheshire to Doncaster without even being able to say their goodbyes. Harry is expecting the worst. Then he meets his neighbor. The beautiful, popular, star football player, Louis Tomlinson. Harry absolutely hates Louis smug smirk and happily married parents. He hates his girlfriend even more. As if Harry didn't have enough trouble dealing with his mum, now he had to try and avoid his alluring neighbor. Sadly for Harry though, his room lines up perfectly with the window of non other than Louis Tomlinson himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without darkness we can't see the stars

**Author's Note:**

> My second story, wow! This deals with alcohol problems so viewer discretion is advised. Other than that I hope you all enjoy :)

“This is going to be good for us.” Harry’s mum Anne says as she reaches a pale arm across the seat to grip her sons arm gently, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Harry keeps his eyes on the outside world, refusing to look at her. Trees pass by quickly as the sun hides behind them, peaking out only for a few seconds at a time before it is swept away by the tall green leaves. Harry allows his mum to hold onto his hand but he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know how. All he knows is that he is being taken away from his old life. Away from the things that gave him comfort. Everything was being taken away. He swallows gruffly as he tries to not let his emotions get the better of him. It was really fucking hard. 

“Harry, look at me please.” She says quietly, her voice holding pain, and sadness. Harry wishes he could. He wishes he could look at her and not feel hatred, and hurt, and disgust. But he can’t. So he doesn’t. With a sigh Anne retracts her hand and places it back on the wheel. Harry can still feel her touch on his arm. He brings his fingertips to lightly brush over the spot. It’s been like this for a while. Silent. Harry and his mum have barely talked for the past three months. It was good at one point, before his mum got bad again. Before his father left. Before everything came crashing down, leaving a mess of destruction behind. A destruction that they ran away from. 

Harry’s phone beeps in his pocket and he takes it out. The screen lights up and the name Zayn flashes in front of him.

'Where are you?'

Harry sighs and turns it off. He tosses it in the cup holder and leans his head against the seat. Harry couldn’t call Zayn his boyfriend, no. He was more like his “fuck buddy”. When all of this shit went down three months ago, Harry turned to a distraction. Zayn, being the tattooed pot head, kindly accepted that position. Harry didn't mind at the time, in fact Zayn was actually a pretty decent guy. He would sometimes bring Harry a coffee in the morning before class, or lend him a cigaret when he was out. Never once did Harry bring up the B word. He wasn’t even sure he wanted a stable relationship himself. He had seen his parents marriage crumble and Harry couldn’t stand the thought of that happening to him as well. So him and Zayn were merely friends… with benefits. Harry did all of his firsts with Zayn. His first joint, his first alcoholic beverage. Whenever Harry was with Zayn they were either getting high, or fucking. No talking was really involved and for that Harry was grateful. Zayn understood what he was. He was a distraction, and he knew it. The only reason he texted Harry was to probably get a quicky in before class. Sadly for Zayn there would be no more quickies. There would be no more them. 

Harry and his mum sit in silence for the rest of the journey. They were moving from their nice house in Cheshire to a new home in Doncaster. Harry didn't even get to tell Zayn goodbye. He didn't get to tell anyone goodbye. His mom came home from work one day with tears in her eyes. 

“We’re leaving.” She had said, walking over to the fridge to grab whatever alcohol she could find. Harry had gotten home minutes earlier and hadn’t even taken off his jacket yet.

“What are you talking about now, mum?” Harry had sighed, walking over to her. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t love her, he did, of course he did. He was just sick of having to act like the adult. He didn’t want to have to take care of Anne, she should be taking care of him. 

“I got fired.” She said, her voice cracking. 

“You got what?” Harry asked, anger rising through his bones. Anne just shook her head and drank away more of her sadness.

“Fired, three days ago. I didn’t want to say anything to you, I just gone done cleaning out my office” She said.

“Why didn’t you tell me? And what about dad, we can’t leave him.” At the time, what his mum was saying didn’t make any sense to him.

Anne looked at Harry with dead eyes. “You’re father is not coming back, Harry.. No matter how much you think he is. He’s a bastard.” 

“That’s not true.” 

Three months ago Harry’s dad ran away with his secretary, and all of the money. Bills were coming in, and what Harry’s mum made wasn’t enough to cover the payments. Their electric got turned off more than once. Harry got a job to help with the money, but making minimum wage was not even close to making as much as his fathers high office job. So in a nut shell, they were on their way to being extremely poor. 

“It is.. We can’t stay here.” She brought up her arms, and gestured around the room. “Look at this place, it’s falling apart.” 

Harry shook his head. “Okay, where are we going to go?” 

“Your uncle hooked me up with a job at the hospital.. As a medical assistant. I talked to him earlier.” 

“And where are we going to live?” The more Anne said, the tighter Harry’s chest got. She was serious.

“There’s a house for rent in a really good neighborhood, I have enough to get us through until my new job picks up, besides I’m sure your uncle will help us out as much as he can.” 

“Mom, we can’t leave. How am I going to finish school?” Harry asked.

“You’ll go to a new one in Doncaster.” She stood up. “I have to call you’re uncle, but were leaving tomorrow morning.” With the bottle in hand she walked down the hallway, she stopped in her door way and looked back to her enraged son. 

“Pack.” She said, she walked into the room and the door closed. Harry realized that this wasn’t just a dream, he was actually leaving. That night after he threw some clothes in a bag, he went over to Zayn’s. As they were doing what they always do, Harry thought about telling him he was leaving. He didn’t. 

++

Half an hour later, Harry and Anne pull up to a quant house, in a quiet neighborhood. It was the kind of house you see a newly married couple moving into. With a cobblestone walkway leading up to the front porch. A bench sat outside, with a welcoming mat. The houses were all on top of each other with a space that only one person could fit though. The house was two stories. As Harry explores the house for a while, he finds out that the inside is much, much smaller than it looks from the outside, Two bedrooms, two baths. As soon as someone walks in the house they are met with a small kitchen contacted to a living room. A staircase, and bathroom in the corner. Upstairs there are two small rooms, and another small bathroom. That’s it. Sure him and his mum didn’t need much, but they knew that if they left this house they would be homeless. A thought Harry didn't want to think about. When he is finished looking over things over he walks back outside to his mum.

“Come help me, love, will ya?” She walks over and hands Harry a couple heavy boxes marked 'Harry’s room’. He carries those upstairs to his small bedroom and sets them on the floor. His room has one window and the view is horrible. All he can see is the house next to him and a window that is opened. It was the end of spring, and summer was soon approaching. Though the summer temperatures in England don’t usually get past 65, Harry enjoyed being able to have fresh air. Hecould see into the room, and notices a bed, a dresser, a small desk in the corner, and little things scattered through out it, like books and water bottles. A trophy case hung on one of the walls, and a football sat in the corner. Harry figured that the person who owned the room didn't think to put blinds up because this house was for rent. Harry, sadly didn’t have blinds of his own. He mentally added that to the list in his head. He doesn’t want any peeping toms watching him while he sleeps.

He picks up one of the boxes and puts it on the bed. The mattress gives off a moan as the weight hits in. He walks back downstairs to help Anne with the other boxes. When he walks out he spots a woman and a man, standing with a boy who appears to be Harry’s age, maybe even a little younger. He has light brown hair, and blue eyes. He had on a polo shirt and a pair of fresh khakis with glasses perched on his nose. This boy is obviously hot. Harry isn’t blind. Twink is the word that comes to Harry’s mind when he looks at this lad. Anne smiles at Harry as she walks over and grabs his arm. Harry follows, his eyes still on the pretty boy in front of him. 

“Harry, I want to introduce you to our new neighbors. This is Johanna, her husband Dan, and their son Louis.” Anne smiles. Harry looks at the family in front of him. The polished family. He extends a hand to Louis first who looks at it for a moment, his nose slightly turned.

“I don’t bite.” Harry smirks. Louis gives him a sly smile as he extends his hand. His extremely small, delicate hand, Harry notices. He then moves on Johanna and Dan.

“What a lovely boy.” Johanna says to Anne. She smiles proudly and runs a hand through Harry’s hair. 

“Thank you.” 

“What brings you all to Doncaster?” Dan asks a moment later. Harry has to bite his tongue.

“I got a new job.” Harry’s mum says, she dropped her hand from Harry’s hair to rest on the back of his neck. A silent warning for him not to say anything. Like he would. 

“Oh, that is wonderful.” 

The adults carry on with their small talk, but Harry is more interested in picking Louis apart. He reeked of perfection. Louis. Even his name sounded posh. Everything about this kid said arrogance. Even how he was standing. Louis returned Harry’s gaze and smirked at him. Oh was this boy asking for it. 

“Well, Harry and I will have to have you over for dinner sometime.” Harry is pulled out of his Louis hate when he hears his name. Johanna is smiling at him and nodding her head eagerly. 

“Of course, just give us a knock.” She jerks her thumb in the direction of their door. Anne smiles. 

“Alright. It was lovely meeting you.” After more smiles and goodbyes, the Tomlinson’s made their way back over to their own lot. Harry and his mum finish carrying in boxes, and spend the evening putting things away. Harry thinks things are going extremely well until he sees his mum hesitating by the cabinet. Harry watches as she opens the door and grabs a bottle of wine. She looks at Harry with a sad smile.

“Oh, come on. This is a celebration!” She pops the cork and grabs a glass. “Just one glass.”

“Mom, you said things were going to be different.” Harry says, disappointment taking over him.

“They are, Harry.” Anne says defensively. 

“Okay, mum, sure.” Harry scoffs and makes his way up the stairs to his bedroom. He closes the door and sits down on his bed. He misses his dad. He misses his old bed, and the familiarity of his home. He even misses Zayn. He sighs as he reaches over and grabs a picture out of one of his boxes. It’s a picture of his mum, dad, and him from a year ago. They are smiling, their faces bright. Harry was smushed in the middle his cheeks pressing against his parents’. He smiles sadly. He misses this, more than anything. He looks up as he sees a light turn on in the room across from his. He watches as Louis kicks off his shoes and plops on his bed. He pulls a phone out of his pocket and his fingers start flying over the keys. Louis never once looks up from his phone, and Harry is almost 100% sure that Louis knows they have perfect views of each others rooms. Not wanting to look creepy, Harry gets up and walks downstairs. 

“This damn thing.” He hears Anne mutter, giving the remote a shake, while she balances her wine glass. 

“Need help?” Harry questions, walking over to her. He didn't really want to talk to his mum, he didn't even want to be in the same room as her. But they were both trying. And if Anne was going to try and turn their lives around, then Harry would gladly comply. Harry walks over and takes the remote. He sets it on the coffee table and walks over to inspect the t.v. Everything was plugged in correctly. He presses the power button with his finger and it whirls to life. He grabs the remote and opens the back. He sighs dryly.

“Mum..” He says turning to her. She was sprawled out across the couch, her glass abandoned and replaced with the bottle. “There are no batteries in this.” Harry says slowly. 

Anne lets out a dry laugh. “Oh, silly me.” She giggles, and she takes a drink. 

“Come on, give it to me.” Harry holds out his hand, and when she doesn’t respond he walks over and tries to take it. 

“Harry, please.” She sighs as she moves the bottle away from his grip. “I just want to watch some t.v. with my son and enjoy some wine.” She looks up at him. “Is that too much to ask?” 

Harry’s patience is thinning out. He can’t help the guilt that bubbles in his chest. “That’s not “some wine” mum, thats the whole bloody bottle.” 

“Just sit done and watch the telly with me, please.” She reaches to grab Harry’s hand but he jerks it away.

“Fine.” He mumbles. He sits down and tries his hardest to focus on the boring sit com that was playing. Harry didn't even know the name of the show. He felt his eyes get heavier and heavier, it wasn’t long before he drifted off.

When Harry awoke two hours later, he looked over to see his mum passed out as well. Her mouth hung open as her arm held the now empty bottle of wine off the side of the couch. The clock read midnight. He sighs loudly as he gets up, his knees popping. He walks over and grabs the empty bottle and throws it in the garbage. He takes a blanket out of one of the boxes and throws it over Anne. She stirs a little but doesn’t wake. Harry felt tears spring to his eyes, for this was all too familiar to him. He turns off the television and goes into his bedroom. The light to Louis room was off, and Harry assumed he was sleeping (not that he cared). Harry plops down on his mattress with a yawn. He was exhausted. He slips off his jeans and tosses them across the room. He climbs under the covers, and grabs his phone that he had laid on the dresser three hours earlier when he explored the house. He turns it on with three new messages from Zayn.

'Are you sick, or something?'

'Can we hang out later?'

'Alright, whatever.'

Fuck. He debated calling Zayn, but he couldn’t. He didnt even know what to say. So he turned his phone back off and rolled over trying to get comfortable. He lays there for hours, trying to get his thoughts to calm down. Feeling suddenly angry, Harry got out of bed and threw on a hoodie and sweats. He was doing the only thing he knew. He walks into the back yard, and sits down on the swing that hung from the back porch ceiling. He looked up at the stars and started counting. Sure that seems strange, to count the stars, but Harry had been doing it forever. His mum was still struggling before his dad left, but when he was gone, its when her drinking really started getting out of control. 

That’s when Harry discovered the night. He saw truth in the darkness. He remembers all those lonely nights of him on his roof, even in the freezing cold, Harry made it his duty to count at least 100 stars every night. There was something so beautiful about it. How darkness can consume somebody, but even in complete and total emptiness, there are stars. Millions and millions. Illuminating everything. Harry can see better in the dark. 

Four  
Twenty Three  
Sixty Four  
Eighty Five  
Ninety Nine…

Harry looks around for the brightest star there is for his one hundred, but tonight all the stars look dull. He decides to not get to 100 tonight. He wants to save it for a sparkling night. He stands, and shoves his hands deep in his pocket. He walks back inside and goes back into his room, he passes his mother still knocked out. He gets back into bed and pulls the covers up to his face, snuggling into them. He closes his eyes, accepting the dark. Maybe tomorrow he can find his 100 in this town, but to Harry he feels as if the stars shine much brighter in Cheshire. 

++

It’s Sunday morning around noon when Harry wakes from a dreamless night. He stretches and his bones crack to life as he remembers where he is. A new bed, a new home. Everything comes flooding back to him. He wants to go back to sleep, and sleep forever. He wants to forget time. Instead, he throws his legs over the bed and sits up. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in site. Harry wished it was raining, so that way the weather matched his mood. His first day of school was tomorrow and he was not looking forward to it. Not one bit.

He walks downstairs to find his mother crying. A strange sight non the less. Harry hadn’t seen his mom cry in about a year. He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he just walk away and act like he never saw her? She was clearly drunk, Harry notes, spotting empty bottles of vodka sitting on the table. Fucking hell.

“Mum.” Harry says sternly walking over to her. She looks up at him with red rimmed eyes, totally wasted. 

“Harry.” She slurs, reaching her arms out to her son. 

Harry looks at her with disgust. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He bellows.

“Work, tomorrow.” She frowns. “I’m scared.” Her voice trembles as she buries her face in her hands. 

Harry’s stomach automatically drops. He kneels down next to her. “It’s noon, and look at yourself. You promised me.” 

Her read eyes met Harry’s green. “I know.” She raises a hand up and runs it across Harry’s forehead, pushing his hair back gently. 

Harry’s heart shrunk at the sight. He should have known better. He was so stupid to think that Anne would automatically get better, just because they moved here. How naive and dumb and idiotic and.. and. Harry sighs and opens his mouth to speak.

“I’m going to be sick.” Anne says, before Harry has a chance to say anything. He quickly grabs her and leads her to the nearest bathroom. They barely get there before Anne is throwing up. Harry stands behind her and holds her hair back. He pats her lightly on the back as he feels himself starting to cry. He holds the tears back, but a few slip out. He hates this. He absolutely hates having to be the one to do this. But he’s used to it. Way too used to it. When Anne is finished he flushes the toilet and helps her stand. There is vomit in her hair and on the clothes.

“Come on, mum.” He whispers, he grabs her arm and hoists her up. He slings one of her arms across his shoulder as he struggles to balance her weight. Once he gets adjusted he climbs up the steps with her and stops outside of her room. He pushes the door open and guides her in. He takes her to the bath tub and turns it on. 

“Get in.” He tells her, he grabs and lifts her shirt over her head, he does the same with the rest of her clothes. His mum stands there silently as Harry guides her into the tub. She sits down and Harry grabs a cup from the counter. He kneels next to the bath and scoops some water into the cup. He wets her hair and grabs some shampoo. His mum sniffles as her son washes her hair thoroughly and hands her a bar of soap.

“Wash yourself.” Harry says. He stands and grabs a towel from the drawer. He returns and Anne is weakly running the soap across her body. Harry feels his chest tighten. Guilt and sadness washes over him. 

“I’m done.” Anne mumbles. Harry walks over and grabs the soap out of her hand and sets it back in the dish. He washes Anne off with more water and helps her stand. He wraps the towel around her shoulders and guides her to the bedroom. Harry helps her get dressed and tucks her into bed.

“I’m going to get you some water, but you need to rest. You have work in the morning and you can’t be hung over on the first day, alright?” He looks her in the eyes. She nods weakly. Harry walks downstairs and fills up a glass of water and grabs two tylenols. He takes them up to her. She takes the medication and falls asleep quickly. Harry leaves and closes the door behind him. He lets out a sigh and leans back on it, letting his head hit the wood. His hands are trembling as he stands silently. He wasn’t sure if he was angry, or sad. 

After a minute of standing there, almost afraid to move, he walks downstairs and grabs the empty bottles that lined the coffee table. He throws them all away, along with all of the alcohol in the house, besides the two beers that sit in the fridge, and picks up the trash bag to take out. He opens the door and makes it down the driveway to the trash can, he opens the lit and sets the trash in it. He turns to walk back to his house when one of his new neighbors opens the door and walks outside. Harry can’t remember his name, something like Lucas? Lance? Anyway, the neighbor walks down the driveway to his car. 

“Hello!” He calls brightly, a sneering smirk forming on his lips. 

“Piss off.” Harry says to him, as he marches back into the house. He doesn’t have time to make out the stunned face he was sure the lad was sporting. He tries not to slam the door hard, because he doesn’t want to wake his mum. He slides down to the floor and sits with his head between his knees. His breathing staggers as he tries to calm himself down. A tear slips down his cheek and he angrily brushes it away. Why? Why was he so stupid. He knew his mum couldn’t change, yet he was too naive and believed her lies. He believed every worthless word that came out of her mouth, and now he was left to take care of her. He stumbles into the kitchen and grabs a beer. He opens it and takes a big sip. His pulse is still rushing with anger as he walks pack upstairs to his new bedroom. He plops down on his bed and takes another drink. He slides out his phone and sends a text to Zayn.

‘i’m sorry.' He closes his eyes and squeezes his phone tighter in his hands. His phone beeps a second later.

‘where the fuck have you been?’ 

Harry stares at the words on the screen for a moment trying to figure out how to respond. How could he? What would he even say. He looks up and his eyes meet his neighbors bedroom. Louis, Harry finally recalls. His name was Louis, and his room was empty. Harry looks away quickly and focuses his eyes back on the message from Zayn.

‘I’m gone.” 

Harry nibbles at his bottom lip.

‘what do you mean “gone”

‘I moved to Doncaster… Im sorry i didnt get to sat goodbye.’

‘what the hell are you talking about?’ 

Harry starts to write out another message when his phone rings. Zayn.

“Hello?” 

“What the hell, Harry? You can’t just leave without telling me.” Zayn sounds actually upset, which is strange, but Harry knew he didn't miss Harry, he just missed his ass.

“I know, I’m sorry, its just it was sudden, and it all happened at once.” Harry closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

Zayn’s line was silent for a while before his smooth voice spoke again. “It’s alright.” Is all he says.

“My mum’s bad again.” Harry whispers. 

Zayn sighs. “I know.” 

“I’ll come visit, yeah?” Harry tries, but the rocks in his chest make him feel worse.

“Yeah, Harry.” 

It’s silent for a good five minutes. None of them knowing what to say. There was nothing to say. They weren’t together. They were merely fuck buddies.

“I gotta go.” Zayn breaks the silence a moment later.

“Okay.” 

The line clicks silent and Harry tosses his phone on his bed. He lets out a sigh and rubs his eyes. He’s exhausted. His first day of school was tomorrow and his mum would be a proper mess. Harry had tried to get his mum help so many times before, she did a couple times, sober for 6 months before she relapsed. He looked back to Louis’ room, but it was empty. Shaking his head he lays down and lets sleep become him. 

++

Harry wakes up late evening. He goes into his mother’s bedroom to check on her. He sits on the edge of the bed and rubs his hand along her hair, smoothing it out. She hums and her eyes open slowly. 

“Hi.” He says.

“Hello, baby.” She smiles weekly.

“How are you feeling.” 

“Hungry.” Harry smiles weakly. 

“I can get you something if you want.” He immediately regrets being mad at her. That always happens. 

“Spaghetti.” 

Harry laughs. “Spaghetti?” 

Anne laughs as well, but then closes her eyes. “And a glass of water.” 

Harry frowns. “Okay.” He gets up and heads to the door when Anne grabs his arm. He turns around to see water welling up in her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She whispers. 

“I know.” 

Anne still doesn’t let go. “I’m gonna change, Harry.” She squeezes his wrist. “I promise.” 

Harry feels his chest tighten, same story, different day. “Okay.” Anne finally lets go of his wrist and Harry leaves her room. He walks into the living room and looks around for the keys. He grabs them and drives to the local grocery store. He walks down the isles picking out different groceries. He grabs what he needs and goes back to his new home. He boils the water and turns on some music. He dances and hums as he cooks dinner for him and his mum. When he is done he sets the table and goes into her room, she’s asleep again. 

“Mum.” He shakes her awake. “Dinner’s ready.” 

She yawns and gives him a smile. “Okay, darling. Give me a second.” 

Harry nods and walks back down stairs to their little kitchen, he sits down and looks at the meal he has prepared. He’s proud. He smiles happily as he waits for his mum. A minutes later she descends from the stairs and pulls up a seat. 

“This looks delicious, my little chef.” 

Harry blushes as they start to eat. 

“Harry, darling, fetch me a glass of wine with my dinner please.” Anne says after a minute. Harry freezes. Of course she would do this. 

“No.” He says not looking up from his plate. He wipes his mouth with his napkin. Anne frowns.

“It’s just a glass.” She says. 

“No, mum.” He says, his voice shaking. “It’s never “just a glass” it’s always the bottle. Besides.” He swallows. “I threw it out.” 

Anne’s fork clatters as it hits the plate. Harry looks up to his seething mother. 

“What do you mean, you threw it out?” She asks.

“I threw it out, all the alcohol.. It’s not good for you mum, you need to sto-“

Harry gasps as the plate of food nearly misses his head. His eyes lock to his mothers who is staring at him, her hands balled into fists. Harry looks behind him at the the sauce stain on the wall and glass shards on the floor. 

Harry’s eyes are huge as he stares at his mother. His voice unable to make words.

“Fucking hell. Do you have any idea how expensive that stuff is, you can’t just throw it out, what is wrong with you.” Anne hisses, as she pushes her chair back, it falls over and hits the floor with a thud. Harry feels a lump well in his throat. 

Anne pushes past him to the stairs. “Clean this shit up.” With that she disappears. 

Harry stands motionless, his mind trying to digest what just happened. He fights back his tears as he bends down and picks up the pieces of broken plate on the floor. A drop of salt water slides down his cheek and onto his lips. It burns. 

When he is finished he goes into his room and closes his door. He looks out his window to Louis’ room. His light is on and he is sitting on his bed, glasses perched on his nose going through his phone. He can’t see Harry for his room is pitch black. He balls his hands into fists and tells himself not to cry. He cries anyway. 

Around midnight he gets up and goes outside. He sits on the back porch and watches the the stars. He doesn’t count them tonight. They’re dull and Harry is unworthy of calling them his. He misses his dad. He misses his home, hell he even misses Zayn. 

++

The next morning Harry doesn’t even bother trying to avoid his mum, for she’s gone by the time Harry wakes up. He makes himself some cereal and tries to ignore the slight orange stain on the white wall. After he showers and gets dressed he walks outside and is hit with a problem. How the fuck is he going to get to school? His mum took the car and he doesn't even know where the school is. 

A second later Louis walks out of his house as well. Sporting a pair of toms and a striped shirt. His glasses were gone and his ankles were on display. 

“Good morning.” He calls brightly, walking over to Harry. Please don’t. Harry thinks.

“Hi.” He says, avoiding eye contact. 

Louis stands awkwardly and looks down at his feet. “So, did you transfer to Westbrook?” He asks. 

“Yeah.” 

Harry stands there uncomfortably, the wind picks up and when he looks back to Louis, the wind was blowing his hair into his eyes. Harry watches as he raises a dainty finger to push the strands away from his face. 

“Do you need a ride?” He asks a moment later, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulder. 

“No.” Harry says defensively. “Kinda.” He adds a moment later. Louis smiles awakarly as he gestures towards his car.

“I can take you…” He pauses. “If you want.” 

Harry debates for a moment. If he took the ride, that means he would have to be friendly with Louis. He didn't even want a friend. If anything he wanted to be left the fuck alone. He knew in this moment, standing with a T-shirt and jeans he looked like shit. He knew he had bags under his eyes due from only sleeping three hours. He knew that this was only pity, so no friendship would have to be involved. 

“Alright.” He says slowly. Louis grins softly again as they make their way to Louis’ driveway. Harry smirks as he sees the leather interior and navigation.

“You must do really well in school.” Harry scoffs as he slides the seat belt across his chest. He looks over to see Louis studying him.

“What?” Harry has to stop himself from bringing a hand to his curls. Who cares what this prick thinks. 

“Why do you say that?” He asks as he puts his key in the ignition. The car roars to life.

“Why else would you get a car this nice?”

Louis clears his throat and puts the car in drive. “Well, it was a birthday present.. But yes.” He looks over at Harry. “I am very good at school.” 

Harry doesn’t respond. Instead just turns and looks out the window at the new surroundings. Five minutes in Louis turns on the radio. Some pop song comes on and Harry can’t help but cringe and turn his nose up to it. Louis notices. 

“What?” He asks. Harry can’t help the little grin that forms on his lips. Something about his innocent eyes was so— cute? No stop. There was nothing cute about this kid. His delicate hands, and his light hair were definitely, DEFINITELY not cute. 

“What is this?” Harry chuckles.

“It’s Nikki Minaj.” Louis retorts.

“Who?” Harry asks half jokingly. Yes, he knew who Nikki Minaj was, but he doesn’t think he’s ever heard on of her songs in his life. 

Louis just chuckled and turned it up, the rest of the ride silent. When they arrived Harry let out a sigh of relief. Sure, it was the best public school in the city, but it seemed.. Well, it seemed normal. He was grateful. Louis opens his door and steps out. He smiles to a group of guys by the front entrance and slings his bag over his shoulder. Harry was all alone.

“Prick.” He mumbles under his breathe. 

++

Okay Styles. Go to the main office, and get you’re schedule… You’re only in this hell hole for two more months. 

On the way to Doncaster, Harry had asked his mum if he could just transfer next year, she had said no because that meant summer classes. Harry then went on to saying no one transfers in April. She responded with, "looks like you do.” He didn't speak again. 

When Harry pushed open the doors to the school, he was hit with a smell that was all too familiar to him. The smell of desperation, and teenage angst. There was the popular girls standing off to the side pointing and laughing at others walking down the hall. There was a group of boys huddled over a gameboy, another group mixed with girls and boys shoveling books into their lockers, and pushing their glasses up their noses. Ah yes, this was all too, too familiar. Sighing Harry pushed past the throng of kids who shot him weird looks. While some eyes just skimmed him, others stared completely. He ignores it. 

He reachers the main office and pushed the door open, the smell of freshly printed paper, and coffee hit his nose. He walks up the secretaries desk and lightly taps on it. Laura Wolff, it says on her plaque, looks up a genuine smile painted on her face.

“Hello love, what can I do for you?” She asks, sliding her glasses off her thin nose. She had to be at least 60, and she smelt of oatmeal. 

“I’m Harry,” He says slowly. “I’m new.” He taps his foot lightly on the ground as the door behind him pushes open. A young, dark headed boy with brown puppy dog eyes walks in and heads toward the copy machine.

“Liam!” She calls. Liam looks up and smiles sweetly at her.

“Morning, Mrs. Wolff.” He says walking over, giving Harry a peak. 

“Hello Liam! This here is Harry,” She smiles sweetly. “He’s new here, and what better student to show him around than the student body president himself!” She claps her hands as if she is extremely proud of herself.

Liam grins softly and turns to look at Harry. They were opposites. Liam reeked of school pride, and over priced polo shirts. Harry is still wearing the same beat up vans he got two years ago. 

“Sure I can.” He shrugs easily.

“I don’t need anyone to show me around, I’m fine.” Harry says, then instantly feels guilty when Liam’s eyes fell. “I’m sorry.” Harry says.

“Nonsense, you’d get lost in a school this big! Please Harry let Liam help.” Just then the printer whirls to life as Mrs. Wolff walks over and grabs the document. 

“Here you go.” She says. She hands Harry a piece of paper filled with information. “You’re locker number and combination, all of you’re classes, and you lunches are all on this.” She looks at him seriously. “Do not lose it.” 

“Got it.” Harry mumbles weekly, already wishing to be home in bed, dreaming of anything other than this. Liam pushes open the door to the hallway that has cleared out and ushers for Harry to follow.

“Look, you seriously don’t have to do this.” Harry says to him, skimming over his paper. 

“It’s fine seriously.” He stops and stretches out his hand. 

“I’m Liam.”

Harry smirks as he shakes his hand. “I’m Harry.” 

“Well good, now that we know each other I guess I can start showing you around.” 

Liam takes Harry throughout the school, starting with the gym then the library. Once Harry gets his books they go back to his locker and he starts filling it.

“I appreciate this.” He says to Liam, he just smiles proudly and continues on about Westbrook pride. 

“You should probably get to class now,” Liam says a moment later. “Homeroom is almost over, then you need to head off to..” He grabs Harry’s paper. “Art.” 

Harry instantly relaxes. “Art, alright,” He sighs. “I can do that.” 

“Also, if you need somewhere to sit at lunch, I’m available.” Liam says. Harry smiles. He liked Liam, even though he was very high strung and proper, he can see them being mates, and Liam seemed like a much better person than Zayn.

“I might have to take you up on that offer.” Harry laughs. They say their goodbyes and Harry makes his way to the art room. 

++

Harry’s day is going by pretty well until he walks into History. There, seated right in the middle is Louis Tomlinson, a girl sits next to him, giggling. Louis catches his eye, but Harry does not smile, or even acknowledge his presence. Serves him right. Harry was still pissed he ditched him this morning, no Harry didn't want Louis as a friend, but it kinda hurt Harry that Louis didn't even want to be seen with him. The girl sitting beside him leans in and whispers something into Louis ear. He smiles, his eyes dead and turns to face her. She runs her hands through his hair and kisses his nose. Harry is absolutely struck. He finds a seat directly behind Louis and plops down, he notices Louis tense up. 

Harry cannot believe this. Louis is straight? Louis has a girlfriend? What??? Did people genuinely, seriously think that boy was straight? There is no way in hell that this glasses wearing twink has a girlfriend. Harry had a pretty good gaydar too. He watches as she slips a hand around Louis neck and whispers to him again. Louis pushes her arm away and she frowns. 

“Class is gonna start Eleanor, and you know that Mr. Moss gets made with PDA.” 

Eleanor frowns and turns away from him. She starts digging around her purse and pulls out a phone. Harry watches Louis and Eleanor the whole class and if everyone else is fucking blind, its obvious they have absolutely no chemistry. By the time the bell rings for lunch Harry is extremely angry.

He goes to his locker and grabs his lunch. He walks into the cafeteria and spots Liam eating alone in the corner. Harry walks over to him and sets his lunch down a little too rough. Liam looks up at him with wondering eyes.

“Alright mate?” He asks? 

Harry slumps down and frowns. “Who is Eleanor?” Harry asks, even though he knew the answer. He didn't care that Louis had a girlfriend. Not at all, it was just the fact that he was so obviously flamboyant. Harry was just extremely perplexed by this whole situation.

Liam puts down his sandwich and looks at him. “I’m guessing you mean Eleanor Calder?” He asks.

“Yeah, I guess.” Harry shrugs, pulling out an apple from his lunch bag.

“Why? You got the hots for her?” Liam teases.

Harry almost chokes on his apple. “Definitely not.” He laughs.

“Why not? Is it cause she’s dating Louis, because let me tell you—“ 

“What? No of course not.” Harry says, cutting him off.

“What then?” Liam asks.

“Liam… I’m gay.” Harry says. He doesn’t hold himself back one bit. He’s been out and proud since three years ago when he was just 14. He told his mum and dad, and honestly they couldn’t care less. His dad told him if he liked it up the ass then so be it. Harry thinks they thought he was joking. His mum didn't believe him until she actually caught Zayn with Harry’s dick in his mouth that she believd him. 

Liam’s eyes grow wide. “Oh.. I’m sorry.. I.” He stutters.

“Liam, mate its fine,” Harry slings an arm around his shoulder. “You see, I can see us as being good friends, and I don’t want any secrets.” 

When Liam stays silent Harry thinks he’s fucked this up. 

“Is it going to be a problem.” He asks, removing his arm.

“No!” Liam's eyes grow big. “Not a problem at all! It’s just.” He pushes the bread from his sandwich in between his fingers. “I’m not gay, so I just.. I don’t want things to be,” He shrugs. “Awkward, between us.”

Harry laughs. “It can only be awkward if you make it.” 

Liam sighs in relief. “You’re right, Harry.” He smiles. 

“Now that thats all cleared up,” Harry says. “Let’s talk more about this Eleanor.”

Liam laughs. “I dont understand why you are so interested in her.” 

“She just seems…” Harry puts a finger to his lips. “so..”

“Fake.” Liam answers for him. 

“Exactly.” Harry nods his agreement. A cover up, or a “beard” to be exact. 

“Well, she’s been miss queen bee since 7th grade. She started dating, who else, Louis Tomlinson in 9th and yeah,” Liam shrugs. “Oh, and her mom makes really good chocolate chip cookies for the bake sale every year.” 

“Good to know.” Harry laughs. The rest of lunch they talk about their lives. Harry tells him about Chesire, leaving out the parts about his family and Zayn, and Liam tells him about his life here. His dad is a lawyer and his mom works for an animal shelter. Liam once broke his ankle in 6th grade trying to feed a goat. (He apparently fell off the fence he was standing on.. It was apparently very traumatizing) Harry tells him that when he was younger he wanted to be a famous singer in a band and sell out arenas. He was even planning on auditioning, but his mum told him he would never make it so he didn't. They laugh and tell stupid childhood stories and Harry feels his shoulder relax with every tear of laughter that slides down his cheek. 

++

Harry decides to walk home. It got up to 60 degrees and it was beautiful out. He was walking towards the pavement when a car honked from behind him. Harry turns and sees Louis slowly sliding up behind him.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks.

“Oh, so now you talk to me?” Harry crosses his arms over his chest and continues walking. Okay, so maybe he’s being childish, but he didn't care.

“What’s you’re problem?” Louis asks. 

“My problem,” Harry stops. “is you.” 

Louis’ eyes grow huge. “Wha—“

“I’m not some charity case that has to depend on the little rich boy to help him out.” Harry huffs.

“Harry,” He sighs and pitches the bridge of his nose. “You’re house is an hour away on foot.” 

“I like the fresh air.” He says back childishly.

“So, what are you going to do tomorrow then?” Louis scoffs. “Walk?”

“Yes,” Harry smirks. “That is exactly what I am going to do.” 

“Fine then.” Louis says, he looks behind him to make sure no one is there, and backs up into an empty parking space. Harry watches as Louis gets out and locks his car. He slides his bag onto his shoulder and walks over to Harry.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks.

“I’m walking with you, what the hell does it look like.” Louis scoffs at him.

“Why are you doing that?” Harry couldn’t help the flattery flutter in his stomach. 

“Because Curly, if you’re going to be stubborn and not accept my help, we can do it your way,” He shrugs. “I don’t care.” He slides on his ray bandz and runs a hand through his hair. 

Harry stops walking and stares at him dumb founded. Did he just fucking call him curly, the nerve. Louis stops as well. “What?” He asks.

“Nothing.” Harry says quietly, barely over a whisper. “Nothing.” He says louder and continues walking, faster ahead of Louis, who struggles to keep up.

“Why do you have to be such a dick all the time?” Louis asks him.

“I don’t like you. ” Harry says spinning to look at him

Louis looks at him and takes a step back, his lip turning into a slight frown. “And why’s that?” He asks.

“You’re just some rich punk, who thinks they can do whatever the fuck they want,” Harry says angrily. “And that’s not true.” 

Louis just looks at him. “You don’t know me.” He says quietly. Harry just shakes his head. A huge weight suddenly comes down upon him. Now, not only did he have to deal with Louis, he would have to go home and deal with his mum. 

“Do you wanna go get high?” Harry asks suddenly. 

Louis eyes grow huge. “You’re mad.” He shakes his head and starts walking again. Harry slowly starts trudging behind. 

“I’m serious.” He says a moment later, still walking. 

“I bet.” 

They walk the rest of the way in silence. Half way there Louis slipped on his head phones. Harry got a vague hearing of some bubblegum rap song. Even though they weren’t speaking, and even though Harry was pretty sure he hated Louis arrogant guts, he still enjoyed Louis presence. 

++

When they finally got home Harry notices that his mums car was not in the drive way, he breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Well,” Harry says awkwardly. “Bye.” 

Louis just blinks at him and makes his way to his own walk way. Harry watches as he opens his door, then closes it without a word. He goes into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water, he then goes to his room and tries to do homework, but it's distracting because not more then 5 feet away, Louis is sitting on his bed doing his homework as well. Harry would glance up and catch Louis glancing at him. After ten minutes of feeling self conscious, Harry gives up on his homework and takes a long hot shower. 

After letting the hot jets pelt his body for twenty minutes, he exits and watches as the steam settles across the mirror. He runs a hand through his hair and ties his towel around his waist. Afterwards, he walks back into his room and completely forgets that Louis has a perfect view of his bedroom. So when Harry slides a pair of black boxer briefs up his thighs and tosses his towel on the bed his eyes lock to Louis’ who was staring back at him, his face unreadable. Louis blushes a furious red throughout his whole body. Harry smirks at him and throws his towel across his window, blocking Louis view. He grins to himself as he throws on some sweat pants and an old T-shirt. Straight his ass. 

Harry’s mum gets home later that evening, after Harry finished eating his dinner, a bowl of cereal. He is sprawled across the couch a bowl of popcorn resting on his stomach, the X Factor playing on the t.v. Simon had just put through some boy band Harry had forgotten the name of already. 

Harry’s view of the show is blocked by his mothers figure. He looks up at her as she frowns. Seconds later she burst out crying and falling to her knees. Harry pushed the popcorn away and sat up to face her. 

“Hey, come on now.” He says running his hand through her hair, the sight of his crying mother bringing tears to his own eyes. 

“I’m so, so sorry,” She sniffles. “I’m a horrible mother!” Her voice trembles. 

“It’s okay.” Harry says holding his mother in his arms. He feels anger boil up inside him. It should be the other way around. 

After holding her for another moment Harry gives her a glass of water as she goes into her room and closes the door, a bowl of soup along with her. 

Harry sighs and goes back into his room. He takes the towel down and Louis room is dark. Harry then grabs a hoodie and walks outside. It was cold and the sky was sort of hazy. Harry sighs to himself and sits down. He let the darkness take over him as he stared at the stars, there were millions and millions out there, just like people. Harry wonders if the other stars got upset when one of their own dies. He stays like this for a while, just staring at the night sky until he got so cold he couldn’t feel his fingers. 

++

The rest of the week goes by uneventful. He goes to class, does the stupid assignments, and goes home. It was finally Friday and Harry was looking forward to some relaxation time. Earlier on Tuesday Louis had met Harry outside his house to walk back to school. The walk there was silent. Louis got his car back and harry accepted his offers the rest of the week. 

When he got to lunch on Friday, Liam was already there like usual. 

“Where can I buy some weed around here?” Harry asks. 

Liam chokes on his water. “Umm.” 

“Please, man.. I am fresh out.” 

Liam clears his throat. “You can ask Niall,” He points across the cafeteria. “He’s the blonde one, Irish.” Harry’s eyes follow Liam’s and they settle on the hyper active lad, jumping around and shoving food into his mouth. “He’d have what you need.” 

“Thanks mate.” Harry says slapping Liam on his shoulder. “So, I was thinking.” Harry leans back against his chair. “Since it’s Friday, how about you swing on by my place so I can beat your ass in FIFA.” He's only known Liam for a short amount of time, but is one of the kindest, lovable person Harry thinks he's ever met. 

Liam laughs. “You are so on mate.” He throws a grape at Harry’s head. 

“Cool, so can you give me a ride home? Or do you just wanna swing by later?” Harry asks him.

“I can give you a ride, if you want.” Liam says easily.

“Awesome.”

Later that day when the bell rang dismissing them from school, Harry jogs up to Louis’ car and sticks his head in. “I don’t need a ride.” He says. 

“What?” He asks. 

“Liam’s giving me a ride.” 

Louis nods slowly. “You and Liam, huh?” He smirks. “Never though you two would be friends.” 

Harry squints at him. “And why is that?”

“You guys are just so different,” Louis shrugs, “thats all.” 

“Well, me and Liam happen to get along mighty swell.” Harry says back evenly. 

“I bet.” Louis nods sarcastically. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Tomlinson.. Liam,” Harry breathes in the fresh air. “Liam, he gets me.. You know.” 

Louis tenses up and grips the steering wheel tight. “I’m glad.” He mumbles through a tight jaw. 

“Yeah, me too.” Harry smirks, and turns to leave when he hears Louis’ voice.

“Don’t expect Liam to do anything with you Harry.” 

Harry turns back around. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, Liam’s not gonna suck you off if you’re nice to him, don’t play him.” Louis shakes his head.

“Does Eleanor suck you off?” Harry asks suddenly, and immediately regrets it. 

Louis’ eyes widen as he turns beet red. “I— uh.. I don’t think that’s your uh—“ He stutters. Harry enjoys watching him squirm. He decides the push it farther. 

He leans into Louis car window farther, “Don’t worry, luckily for you, you have a perfect view of Liam sucking my dick, so I believe I’m doing you a favor,” He pauses then another thing came to him. “Just like a couple days ago, when you were watching me in nothing but my tiny, tiny underwear, you liked it didn’t you Louis."

“Fuck you, Harry.” Louis spats, he puts his car in drive, “Get away from my car.” He says sternly, not looking in Harry’s direction. Harry backs up and watches as Louis peels out of the school. Guilt washes over him. He ignores it and goes back inside to find Liam. He finds him putting his jacket on by his locker. He smiles when he sees Harry walking up to him. Suddenly Harry just wants to go home and sleep. He wants to forget about the world and how awful he had been to Louis. 

“Hey, where have you been?” Liam asks. Harry frowns and feels his cheeks turn red from what Louis said to him. Did he really think that Harry would try to get with Liam? Why would he even say such a thing? Liam was clearly not Harry’s type in the first place. Was Louis jealous? Why did Harry even have to bring up Eleanor? Why did he have to move to this fucking town? Why did his dad abandon him? Why was his mother a hopeless fucking alcoholic? Why— 

“You alright mate?” Liam asks, pulling Harry out of his dream state. 

He blinks at Liam a few times before nodding. “All good, yeah. I just got lost in my thoughts for a second there.” 

“Oh, anything you wanna talk about?” Liam asks worriedly. That’s one thing Harry learned about Liam, he was a worry wart. 

“No, it’s nothing.” Harry rubs his hands together. “But we must find this Niall!” Harry announces scoping the grounds that was still lingering with students. Together they walk out of school together and it only takes a second for them to spot him laughing beside some other kids underneath a tree. Determination flooded through Harrys bones. He was getting those drugs if it was the last thing he ever did.

“Hey Niall!” Harry said brightly walking over to him. Niall turned to look at him. Confusion flashed across his face, but then suddenly a bright smile appeared. 

“What can I do for you good sir?” Niall asks with a thick Irish accent.

“I’m just looking for some weed.” Harry says matter-of-factly, not wasting any time getting to the point.

Niall laughs, “Ah, you’ve come to the right person, lets see what I can do for you.” He slings his arm around Harry’s shoulder and guides him around behind the gym.

++

Moments later Harry was walking with Liam back to his car ready to go home and light up. 

“Fuck yes.” Harry smiles

“It’s all good then yeah?” He smiles brightly. Harry nods.

“Ready to get destroyed in FIFA?” He laughs.

“You wish.” Harry grins back. 

“Prepare for the Payne Train.” Liam says, laughing at his own lame joke as he slings his jacket across his soldier and striking a bad pose.

Harry can’t help but laugh. “The only Payne you are, is a pain in my ass.” 

Liam lets our a hearty laugh.

++

“Yes! Suck my dick, little bitch!” Harry cheers as he scores the winning goal for his team. He throws the controller down in victory and jumps up from the floor. 

“Oh, bollocks.” Liam mumbles, letting the controller fall out of his hands.

Harry reaches his hand out to him. “Good game, though.” Liam shakes it, his head still hanging in shame. 

They got back to Harry’s house two hours earlier and had been playing since. Harry kept glancing over to Louis’ room but it remained empty. The light off, and the bed perfectly made. His mum had yet to come home even though evening was approaching. She didn't say she was working over time or anything. He had yet to get a joint in, only because he was debating if he should call up Zayn, he also didn't know how Liam felt about it all. Liam read his thoughts a moment later.

“You can..” He squirmed awkwardly, “Light up… or whatever, if you want.” He shrugs.

“Nah, its alright, thanks though mate.” Harry smiles at him and stretches out his long limbs. They sit in awkward silence.

“Sorry the room is such a mess, just moved in so I’m trying to get things a little more organized.” Harry apologizes. Liam just nods. Silence takes over them again as Harry grows uncomfortable. He likes silence, hell he prefers it but something about this isn’t right.

“Okay, whats up?” Harry asks, turning to face Liam.

“It’s just…” He turns red. “never mind.” 

Harry grabs his arm, “No, tell me, what’s wrong?” 

Liam sighs and closes his eyes. “So, you’re gay.” 

Harry can’t help but laugh, “Yes, I am gay.” 

Liam squeezes his eyes tighter, “How did you know?” Harry debated this for a moment. He could either tell Liam the truth, or just make something up. He decides that he could trust Liam.

“Well,” Harry shifts, sitting indian style in front of Liam. “When I was younger around the age of 10, I was at my friend Mark’s house and we sitting in his room on his computer just hanging out and he asked me if I wanted to see something,” Liam was watching him intently. “Me, being ten, I was like hell yeah. So he opens up a new browser and types in some website, what it was I can’t remember, but it was a porno. Like my first ever hard core porno, where they showed boobs and everything,” 

Harry grins to himself remembering that day. It was summertime and it was an extremely warm day. Harry’s mum had promised she was going to take them to get snow cones, but she didn't show up. When Harry asked her where she was she said that her work ran overtime, Harry realized now that she was passed out drunk. His dad came and got him three hours later, he never got a snow cone. 

“So Mark kept pointing at the boobs and was like oh my god look at them, they’re so awesome, she’s so hot, but all I remember is looking at the guy, and I was totally under like a gay trance, hell I don’t know. So the girls like giving him head right, and he is trembling and whimpering and I just remember thinking how hot and gorgeous that was, for a strong man to be totally helpless.” 

He looked up to see Liam still staring at him. “The whole time, I had to keep telling myself that I needed to look at the girl, to be turned on by her, but I wasn’t.” Harry chuckles softly, “I ended up falling for Mark.” Harry looked up at Liam. “I told him how I felt a year later, that’s when I knew for sure, that I.. You know liked boys.”

“What did he say?” Liam asks. 

Harry frowns, remembering. “He told the whole school I was a faggot.” 

Liam gasps, “That’s awful.” 

“But it was true.” Harry says looking at Liam’s sad eyes, “And that’s how I saw myself, but then Marked moved away a year later and I went on to grade nine, and everyone knew I was gay. At first they gave me shit, but then I stopped caring, and they did too. Then I met Zayn and—“ Harry freezes. He’s said too much. He can’t, no he won’t talk about Zayn. Because talking about Zayn leads to talking about other things. 

“It’s okay, Harry, you can tell me.” Liam places his hand on Harry’s knee. “I uh,” Harry scratches behind his neck, “My mom saw him sucking me off, so that’s how she knew,” He shrugs. “and that’s it.” 

Liam sits in silence for a moment, taking it all in. “Wow.” Is all he says.

“Yeah.” Harry says quietly. He looks over Liam’s shoulder slightly and sees Louis’ room still empty. 

“Why do you ask?” Harry asks him gently. 

“I don’t know, I mean…” He hangs his head, “I like girls, I know I do, but I keep wondering what it would be like.. to you know,” He shrugs, “kiss a guy.” 

“We can kiss.” Harry says quietly, “but only if you want.” 

“Are you sure?” Liam asks. 

“Liam, you’re my best mate, of course I’m sure,” Harry smiles, “now come here my golden retriever. Liam smiles and leans closer. Harry watches as Liam closes his eyes and leans in closer to Harry. Harry was about to do the same when a light flickered on behind him. Looking over Liam’s shoulder Harry sees as Louis’ stumbles into his room, phone in hand, head hung. He plops on the bed and looks directly at Harry. His eyes rimmed in red. Has he been crying? Harry and Louis stare intently back at each other, blue eyes, against green. Harry is pulled out of his Louis trance when he feels a pair of warm lips kiss his nose. Liam’s eyes pop open and a blush forms on his face. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” Liam squeaks. Harry laughs lightly and shifts his eyes to Liam. “It’s alright.” 

“I.. I don’t really think this is a good idea, Harry.” Liam says quietly. Harry barely hears him for he is already looking at Louis again, who still hasn’t moved from where he sits, still staring at Harry. 

“It’s alright Liam, we don’t have to.” Harry smiles lightly, and scruffs his hair. Liam pulls him in for a hug and squeezes him tight. Harry watches as Louis frowns. They were watching each other and they knew it. It was like some sort of sick game. When Liam pulls away he watches Harry for a moment. He frowns as he follows Harry’s eyes. He looks behind him and sees Louis.

“Oh, I didn't know Louis was you’re neighbor.” Liam lifts a hand, in which Louis doesn’t return.

“Yeah.” Is all Harry says. They decide to play another game, in which Louis stays in his room. Luckily, he is no longer watching but has retreated to his bed with his phone. 

The sun goes down and Harry and Liam are both sick of video games. 

“I should get going.” Liam yawns, standing up. Harry’s mum had still yet to come home and Harry was staring to get worried, he had called her three times and no answer. 

“Thank’s for coming.” Harry smiles, in which Liam graciously returns. 

“Bye, Harry.” 

“Bye Li.” 

++

After Liam leaves Harry busies himself with cleaning up their mess. He picks up their soda cans, and chip bags that were scattered throughout. After that was done he grabs his weed and walks out to his back porch. He rolls a joint and feels his muscle react with each inhale. He feels guilty, not getting high with Zayn, who hasn’t even contacted him since their last phone call. He frowns. Great he’s having a bad high. He looks at the moon and wonders if there was any way an angel could just come down and carry him up to it, just so he could sit and look down at earth and all of its irrelevancy. Yeah, he was really high. He wants to call his dad, he really really does, but he doesn’t. It’s like his finger literally do not work. He was sad. More sad than angry and thats what made it worse. Harry wishes he could hate his father, but he doesn’t. He’s just sad. He always knew his dad to be a hard working, cool guy. He took Harry to every little league game, to footie games, put him on his shoulders to see the world, but just like seasons, people change. 

When he gets sick of sitting in the cold he walks back into his house and back to his room. What he sees makes him stop dead in his tracks. It was a little past 1 am and his mum was still no where to be found, instead he found a whimpering Louis in the room across from his. Luckily for Harry, his room was pitch black so he could move around without being seen. The glow of the moonlight shown down upon Louis’ body. He was perfectly recked. His hair messy and his shirt rolled up past his belly. He grabs unto his boxers and yanks them around his hips, as his hand slips back to fabric. He plays with himself, and arches his back. 

Harry wonders if Louis is doing this on purpose. Wants him to see. Another part of Harry just thinks that Louis thought Harry went to sleep. Harry feels the tightness in his pants immediately. He’s only human for gods sake, but this is different. It almost makes Harry jealous. Jealous that Louis can touch his body whenever he wants. In that moment Harry wanted to push Louis down and keep him from coming, Harry wanted to push his hand away and take over. Harry wanted to make Louis beg and plead to him. The bulge in Harry’s tight underwear grew , causing him to become dizzy. He sits down slowly on his bed as he continues to watch Louis get off. This was wrong, and Harry knew it. He needed to just leave the room and let Louis do his thing, but he couldn’t. 

He watches as Louis bites down on his lip and squeeze his eyes closed. His free hand grabs onto the mattress and he pulls at it. Harry wonders if Eleanor makes him tremble like this. Harry doesn’t think so. Does Eleanor make him moan, and feel so turned on he could faint. Probably not. 

Harry lets out a shuttering breath as he watches Louis finish himself off. When he’s done he gets up and leaves the room. Harry used that chance to crawl under his covers and pull them to his chin. Louis returns moments later, but Harry can only see the outline of his shadow, for it was dark. He watches as Louis plops onto his bed and stirs softly, trying to get comfortable. He watches until Louis’ chest softly rises and falls. So close, yet Harry can’t reach him. He gets himself off in the shower a moment later, moaning to himself as he images Louis shaking body. When he finishes, he goes back into his room and falls asleep feeling guilt and creepy. 

++

When Harry wakes up everything is weird. He feels like a complete pervert and can’t even look towards Louis’ window. He gets up and makes his way to the bathroom, he showers quickly and brushes his teeth. He then goes over and quietly opens his mums door and peeks his head inside. She’s not there. Panic took hold of Harry as he raced down the steps to see his mum passed out of the couch, still in her work uniform, her hair a proper mess. He frowns and walks over to her. He grabs her by the shoulder and shakes her awake. 

“Mum.” He says. “Mum!” He yells louder. Anne’s eyes flutter open slightly as she looks at Harry. 

“What the hell?” He spats. 

“Harry, please keep your voice down.” She places a hand on her head.

“No! No I will not keep my voice down, I was bloody worried sick about you! You didn't come home after work, and you didn't answer my calls.” He paces back and fourth trying to hold in his anger. “I thought you were fucking dead, mum.” Harry whimpers, tears stinging in his eyes. 

“Don’t be naive, of course I’m not dead.” She sighs and pushes herself up off of the couch. Harry takes a few steps back and watches as she goes to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of alcohol. 

“No you’re not.” Harry says as he walks over and grabs it out of her hand.

“Harry, I swear to god, you put that down or I’ll—“ 

“Or you’ll what?” Harry spats. “Throw a plate of spaghetti against the wall,” He scoffs, “Oh wait, you already bloody did that!” He opens the cap and walks over to the sink.

“Don’t you fucking dare, you little shit.” His mum yells lunging at him to take the bottle. Harry manages to get most of it down the drain before his mum yanks him away. Harry doesn’t know his mum slaps him until he feels the burning on his face. He brings a hand up and rests it on his hot cheek. 

“You are a drunk, mum.” He frowns. “I keep saying I’ll run away, back to Cheshire, but I don’t.” Harry shakes his head, “I don’t run away because of you, but now, i’m wondering why the hell I stay.” 

“If you wanna leave.” His mum leans on the counter and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, “There’s the fucking door.” 

Harry steps back as if he’d been slapped again. “You don’t mean that…” He shakes his head. 

“If you wanna leave like your pussy father, fine,” She slurs. “Be my guest.” 

“God, you’re drunk.” Harry shakes his head. “What time did you get home last night.” 

“Like four, I don’t know.” She shakes her head and downs some more out of the bottle. Harry looks away in disgust. 

“It is eight o’clock in the morning and your drunk.” Harry grabs her, “look at yourself, please mum.” Harry feels tears prickle in his eyes, and he looks at the woman who is supposed to mean everything to him. 

“Leave me alone, Harry.” She mumbles as she brushes past him walking slowly up the steps and slams her bedroom door. Harry goes back up to his room and tries his hardest not the slam the door. He sinks to the floor and leans his back against his bed. He lets the tears fall. He cries for what feels like hours. When he’s finished he sits in endless silence, looking at the same small stain on the carper. When he looks up he is met with a worried looking Louis. Anger flows through Harry’s bones. He jumps up grabs a blanket and throws it over his window, the last thing he saw was Louis’ mouth forming a small, surprised “o.”

He doesn’t talk to anyone for the rest of the weekend. The blanket stays on the window as well.

++

Monday comes again and Harry wants to stay home. When his alarm goes off he buries his head in his pillow and lets out a sad moan. He looks at the window that has been covered all weekend. He gets up and pulls it down and is met with a Louis in nothing but a small pair of underwear. Louis’ eyes widen in shock as he throws his shirt over his body. Harry's eyes widen at the sight of Louis' body in the day time. Silky smooth skin that Harry can't help but imagine sink his teeth into. He smirks at Louis and crosses his arms over his chest. Louis flips him off, before he rushes out of the room clothes in hand, but goodness, did that boy have a great body. 

When he texts Liam for a ride, he tells him he is already at school because he had to speak to a teacher. Harry is rideless. He walks out the door and pulls his beanie down over his ears. 

Louis walks out of his door moments later and avoids Harry’s eyes. Harry watches as he gets in his car and starts the engine. Swallowing his pride Harry walks over to him. It was strange, but it was like Louis was almost expecting him. He just unlocks the door without making eye contact and Harry slides in slowly. Louis puts the car in drive and pulls out of his driveway. They are met with excruciating silence. Harry can’t help but look over at Louis. He can’t believe that just days ago he watched as Louis touched himself right in front of him. The twisted thing is, is that Louis had no idea what Harry saw. All Harry could see when he looked at Louis was him whimpering and digging his hips into his mattress. Harry started sweating. He rolled down the window and the let the cool air hit his face. His pants feel tight. He glances over and Louis was gripping the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles were white. Harry knew what he had to do.

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly. Louis pulls up to a red light and looks at him.

“For what?” He asks. Harry looks at him as Louis looks back, orbs of blue blinding his vision. For watching you get off, harry thinks. What were you thinking about? Was it me? Was it Eleanor? 

“I’m sorry,” He swallows, and clenches his hands into fists, “For being such a jerk to on Friday, for telling you I was going to fool around with Liam.” 

“But you did, though.” Louis says. 

Harry shakes his head, “No, I didn't. We almost kissed, but that was it.” 

“You did kiss.” Louis says. The light turns green and turns to face the road again.

“Jealous?” Harry smirks. He watches as Louis blushes. 

“You wish.” He scoffs. 

“Maybe.” Harry whispers. He could feel Louis’ eyes glancing over at him, but he continues staring straight ahead. Another wave of awkward silence washes over them and the sexual tension is almost too much for Harry to bare. He almost wants Louis to pull over and fuck him hard in the back seat. Another part of him wants to bash Louis’ face in for being such a hot dick (literally.) "You were crying." Louis says a moment later. Harry tenses instantly, his muscles contracting tightly. He swallows hard as he remember's Louis seeing tears fall down his cheeks. "Yeah." Harry says softly. There is not point in lying. Louis had seen him. In his most vulnerable state, the tears, the snot, everything. The strange thing is, is that Harry didnt mind all that much that Louis had seen him cry. He used to refuse to let a tear fall in front of Zayn, he thought that made him weak. He realized now it just made him human. "Is everything okay? Louis asks worriedly. "Everything's fine, life just gets.." Harry pauses, biting his lip. "Life just gets really hard sometimes." he says his voice just above a whisper. Louis glances over at him, his eyes sad. "If you ever want to talk or--" He clears his throat, "You can um... you can talk to me." Harry can't help but smile softly. "Okay." He whispers. He turns and looks out the window, the silence not so bad anymore. Minutes later they pull up to school. They get out and go their separate ways as always. 

When Harry slumps into his seat in homeroom he expects to be left alone, sadly that wasn’t the case. Mrs. Wolff’s groggy voice came over the speaker telling Harry he was needed in the office. Sighing he slings his bag over his shoulder and makes his way down the hall. 

“Yeah?” He asks when he arrives. She gives him a welcoming smile. 

“There has been a switch in you’re schedule.” She says warmly. 

“What do you mean there been a switch?” Harry asks. 

“You have been transferred into Gym class.” 

“Gym class?” He feels sick.

“Yes, in order to graduate you must have two gym credits, you’re record says you didn't take any at your old school, so you need one this year and one next year.” She says to him, as she slides a sheet of paper in his direction.

“Why can’t I just take both of my gym credits next year?” He asks, grabbing the paper.

“It interferes with you’re other required classes.” She grins at him softly. “Sorry, love.” 

“It’s alright.” Harry sighs. 

“Here hon, grab a mint.” She slides over the basket of get well soon peppermints, Harry grabs a handful and walks out with his head down. 

++

Harry goes through his first class with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He was not athletic, at all. He was the clumsiest person he knew, and he was some how supposed to participate in sports? 

When the bell rings he drags his feet to the gym when he spots his worst nightmare. Louis is standing off to the side of court wearing a tight pair of gym shorts and a white t-shirt. He is chatting with some other guys and a group of girls huddle in the corner giggling. Harry curses himself as he makes his way into the gym. His eyes lock with Louis’. 

“Alright ladies and gents.” A harsh voice suddenly came booming the other end of the gym, and large, gruff looking woman stepped out. “Line up.” 

Everyone scattered for a place against the wall, Harry stood last. This was a nightmare. “Today were playing American touch football.” She looks around, her deep voice echoing off the hallow white walls. “Does everyone know what that is.” Every one nods and mumbles a yes. “For those of you who don’t, its just like normal American football, except no tackling,” She paces around the gym floor. “For anyone of you who do tackle, prepare to face me.” 

Harry swallows. Touch football, what the bloody hell? 

“Tomlinson, Marshall, you two are the captains.” She blows her whistle. “Pick your teams.” 

Louis smirks as he arrogantly makes his way to the front of the gym, he looks everyone over and rubs a hand on his chin. 

“Derrick.” He says pointing the most muscular guy in the class. Harry inhales. They go on picking their teams until its down to Harry and this extremely small girl names Tasha. It was Louis pick. He hummed quietly to himself as he stood there stalling. Harry felt anger boiling inside him. Just fucking pick, he thinks. 

“Tasha.” He says, smirking in Harry’s direction. Harry wonders how they can be totally civil to each other when its just them, but when Louis is surrounded by his peers he goes into dick mode. It's extremely frustrating. Harry walks over to Todd Marshall’s team and stands behind everyone. Maybe the floor will just swallow him whole. Everyone gets the ready and the game starts with a bang. Harry usually loves flying balls. Today, sadly, is not one of those days. He tries his hardest to stay away from the football that seems to be attracted to him. Instead he watches as Louis runs up and down the gym, his dainty hands throwing the football. He bent down to tie his shoe at one point and his shorts tightened perfectly around his bum. Harry had swallowed hard. 

Harry thinks he’s doing extremely well at blending in until the ball comes right towards his face, instinctively he reaches his arms out and catches it. He hears his team mates cheering and telling him to run. He takes off to his side of the court, but sees Louis chasing right after him, in a panic Harry tries to gain speed, but Louis is faster. Like slow motion, Louis’ hands came down and gripped Harry’s hips and he pushed him back against the bleachers. Harry knew he would have finger print bruises on his hips the next day, but he didn't care. All he could think in the moment was the force behind Louis. How much he wanted to shut Louis up with a tongue down his throat. Louis hard grip was still there as he pushes Harry’s shirt up some, his fingertips just lightly grazing his skin. Harry knew he moaned out loud, but he wasn’t sure how many people heard it. When he looked at Louis’ dazed eyes, Harry knew he had. Louis stares at him for a split second before pulling off of him, football in hand. 

“Fourth down.” He says as he turns and tosses the football to another member of his team. Harry feels an erection spring, just from the touch of Louis’ hands. He felt pathetic. Wasn’t he supposed to hate this kid? Why did he want to fuck the shit out of someone he hated? 

“I—“ He says roughly. “I have to use the bathroom.” He cross the gym and locks himself in a stall. He spends the rest of class there, turned on, and mad at Louis. 

++

When Harry slings his bag into Louis’ car later that day, he tries not to look at him, he knew if he did he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He opens the door to the passenger side when Louis tells him to wait. 

“What?” Harry asks annoyed. 

“Eleanor is coming with us." He says, not looking at Harry. 

“Why?” Harry asks, suddenly angered, he was certainly not interested in hearing her voice. 

“She’s coming back to my house.” Louis shrugs. 

“Whatever.” Harry grumbles as he opens the door to the back seat and climbs in. Louis turns to face him.

“I’m sorry, about gym class.” Louis says running a finger through his hair. “I get kinda aggressive.” His face flushes. Aggressive. Aggressive, aggressive, aggressive. Louis being aggressive as he takes Harry’s underwear off with his teeth, Louis being aggressive as he squeezes Harry’s bum so hard there are bruises the next day. He shudders.

“No worries.” Harry gupls

“Okay, good.” Louis smiles softly at him through the mirror and Harry starts to wonder what this was. They weren’t friends, no. But they weren’t enemies. Harry was about to ask Louis if they were friends when the door opened and Eleanor popped her face in. 

“Hi babe.” She smiles as she leans over to give him a kiss. Anger rose through Harry’s bones. She didn't deserve to kiss him.

“Hey.” He smiles back.

“Thanks for the ride.” She turns and looks in the back seat, “So this must be Harry.” She smiles. “Hi, I’m Eleanor.” 

Harry smiles at her politely. Okay! What the fuck does she mean this must be Harry? Does Louis talk about him? What does he say? The ride is silent except for Eleanor going on and on about cheerleading, and their bake sale. Harry wants to throw up. He rolls his eyes and catches Louis watching him through the mirror. Harry blushes, but Louis grins at him. Harry blushes deeper. Once he drops Harry off at home, he says thank you and closes the door to his house. His mum is at work so his home is empty. He goes to the fridge and pushes past the bottles of alcohol to grab a bottle of water. He goes up to his room and sees that Louis’ room is empty. Harry wonders what they were doing right now. Were they talking to Louis’ parents? Were his parents even home? Was he fucking her on the kitchen counter? Suddenly his door opens and they walk in, Eleanor was totally oblivious to the window that showed Harry. Instead she pulls him in for a kiss and his eyes fly open, they land directly to Harry’s. Hearry is sitting on his bed, not being able to take his eyes off Louis’. Eleanor tears off his shirt and throws it to the ground. She pushes him by the chest onto the bed and kneels in front of him. Louis is looking directly at Harry, his mouth opening slightly as Eleanor starts to bob her head up and down. 

Harry is totally stunned by the scene in front of him. Eleanor just openly started giving Louis a blowjob right in from of him. Harry felt jealously build inside him. That should be his tongue, that should be him making Louis whimper. They stare evenly at each other as Harry gets an idea. He bites his lip softly and continues to stare at Louis. If Louis was in fact straight, lets see how he handles this. Louis’ eyes grow wide as Harry runs a finger down his stomach, grazing his crotch. Harry watches as Louis grips the sheets in his hands, his eyes burning holes in Harry’s chest. Harry leans back and slips a hand down his pants, grabbing at his own growing erection. He knew he was driving Louis crazy. He could tell by the way he jutted his lips to meet Eleanor’s to the way he bit his lip. Harry was happy to comply. He lay back a little more and thrusted his hips up to meet his palm. He was hard. When he looked up, Louis was breathing heavy, and slightly thrusting into Eleanor’s mouth. He looks directly at Harry and mouthes the word please. Harry almost comes. He opens his mouth slightly and gasps when he bring his hand to run over his now hard nipples, imaging Louis’ mouth closed in around them. He knew he was close. He knew Louis was close. Harry nods at him and Louis throws his head back in bliss. Poor Eleanor must think she’s doing a great job. Moments later Louis is coming, his body shaking from his orgasm, Harry is coming moments after, soiling his boxers. This is the most fucked up thing he’s ever done. He watches as Eleanor pulls off and Louis literally pets her head. Harry laughs. He gets up and goes to the bathroom to clean himself off. The thought of Louis tongue in his mouth, still floated through his mind. 

Louis didnt go to school the rest of the week. He literally disappeared off the planet. He pulled a blanket over is window and his car never left his garage, luckily Liam was able to take Harry to school. Eleanor came in crying because Louis broke up with her. Harry wasn't that shocked.. He feels sick as if it were all his fault, which in a way, it was. If he hadn’t come. None of this would have happened. He went on the rest of the week wondering when Louis would come back. 

++

A day later Harry heard knocking on his bedroom window. Confused, he got up and looked outside. Louis stood throwing pebbles at his window to get his attention. Harry opens it slightly and sticks his head out.

“Louis?” He asks to the darkness.

“Can I come in?” 

“Go to the front door.” 

Harry opens his door quietly and shuffles downstairs, careful not to make any noise, when he opens the door he is met with Louis mouth. A feeling so intense and so powerful took over Harry’s existence. It was Louis tongue pressing gently, licking over his lips hungrily. Before Harry’s body and time to respond, Louis was pushing Harry against the door frame and grinding his hips into Harry’s. A pretty moan escapes his lips as he falls powerless before Louis.

“Fuck Harry, I like you.” He mumbles into his mouth, putting a cold hand up Harry’s shirt causing a shiver to run down his spine all the way to the pit of his stomach. 

Harry mumbles back happily as grips Louis bum in his hands, his dick taking over. The lack of oxygen makes Harry pull off Louis’ lips and move to his neck. His dick twitches hard as Louis gasps into his ear. Harry nibbles softly at his skin marking him.

“Wanna tell Eleanor how you got these love bites?” Harry mumbles filthily against his neck. He puts Louis’ earlobe in his mouth and sucks, Louis’ knees buckle as his erection pushes into Harry’s.

“Can we take this to your room?” He asks breathlessly, running a hand over Harry’s hard nipples, stopping to grab Harry’s erection through his pants.

“Fuck yes.” He mumbles into his mouth. Hot breath hitting them each.

They stumble up the stairs and Harry pushes Louis into his room, throwing him on the bed. “Fuck Louis.” He says, bending down and throwing Louis shirt over his head. “You’re so fucking hot.” He kisses down his stomach as Louis whimpers underneath him. He kisses along his collar bones down his sternum and around his belly button. He left a trail of saliva all the way down, as he bit bruises into his hips. Louis thrusts his hips up and he lets out a broken moan. “I want you so bad.” Louis gasps out breathlessly. 

“You don’t know…” Harry mumbles in between kisses along Louis’ happy trail. “The effect you have…” More kisses. “On my body…” Harry mumbles his erection so hard and leaking against his tight underwear. 

Harry takes off his own shirt and throws it over his head. Louis stares at him and Harry feels himself flush. 

“Let me suck you off.” Louis' filthy whispers echo across Harry’s chest. He lays flat on his back and Louis crawls up beside him. “I’ve been think about you constantly.” He slides Harry’s sweat pants off, spreading his milky white thighs apart. He leans down in between and licks his tongue slowly across them. “When I saw you with Liam, I got so fucking jealous.” Harry lets out a silent whimper and grabs the mattress. He tries not to thrust his hips up. It’s really fucking hard. “Wanted you to be mine,” He mumbles against Harry’s soft, hairless, thighs. “And when Eleanor was sucking me off.” He licks the outline of his dick through the fabric of his boxers. Harry gasps and grabs Louis’ hair. “I imagined it was you.” Louis grins as he bits the soft skin. “You helped me out though.” 

“Louis, if you keep talking to me like this—“ Harry lets out a loud moan as Louis kisses hard on his dick, he rubs a hand through the fabric, and grips Harry's thighs in his tiny hands. 

“Hmm?” Louis’ asks looking up at him, his face innocent yet so dirty. “If I keep talking to you like this you’ll what?” He kisses along the elastic and tugs it down a bit. “You’ll come?” 

“Fuck!” Harry breathes. Zayn never talked to him like this. Zayn was never so responsive, so… so fucking hot. Louis removed his boxers and Harry’s leaking dick fell heard against his stomach. “Jesus, christ Harry.” Louis mumbles. “Let me make you feel good.” He licks the bottom of Harry’s cock causing Harry to grip the sheets and throw his head back in bliss. He put his thumb on his tip and pressed down slowly, earning another moan from Harry. 

“Do you talk to Eleanor like this?” Harry mumbles as Louis licks alone the side bringing his lips to the head, he kisses it softly.

“Eleanor doesn’t make me feel like this.” Louis says before taking all of Harry.

Harry closes his eyes and bites his bottom lip, a wave of emotion crashing into his lower stomach, the feeling of pleasure, the feeling of desire. 

“Like that?” Harry manages.

“Infinate.” Louis pulls off and whispers before taking all of Harry again. Louis started bobbing his head up and down as Harry feels his climax rising deep within his trembling body.

“Who taught you how to such dick this good?” Harry moans, grabbing a handful of Louis’ hair and lightly pulling. Louis doesn’t respond just keeps sucking Harry deeper and deeper. 

“Wait, Louis seriously.” Harry laughs. “If you keep going I’m going to come.” Louis pulls off with a pop and crawls back up to Harry. He kisses him his tongue grazing the inside of Harry’s mouth looking for something that can never be found. In one swift motion Harry lay Louis on his stomach his bum in the air. 

“My turn.” Harry mumbles as he leans over and grabs Louis’ ass. He slides down Louis shorts, and gasps when he sees Louis underwear. They might as well be girls'. He were tight around his bum and molded nicely to fit his perfect shape. They were a light baby blue and hung tightly to his hips. 

“You’re so fucking hot.” Harry says as he licks the creese along Louis’ silky smooth bum causing Louis to shutter uncontrollably. “That’s right baby.” Harry brings his mouth down and bites the fabrics, pulling it away from his ass. He lets go and the underwear fall back with a pop. He continues licking and sucking at Louis ass through his thin fabric until there is a huge wet spot right outside his hole. He turns Louis around and slides the underwear down his toned thighs. He runs his tongue down Louis stomach, stopping to give his nipples extra attention. Louis groans loudly as he runs his nails down Harry’s back. Harry lays flat and presses his dick right against Louis', and starts grinding his hips. Louis lets out a soundless gasp as he grips Harry’s neck and burrows in it.

“Do you like this baby?” Harry asks. 

“Yeah.” Louis says his voice light and feathery. 

“Do you wannna fuck me, Louis?” Harry asks a moment later and Louis lets out another moan.

“Please.” He whimpers, and Harry swears that is the sexiest thing he’s ever heard in his life. 

He reaches over and grabs a condom from his bedside table and hands it to Louis. As Louis slides the condom on, Harry takes his fingers and works himself open. He moans when he hits his prostate.

“Alright.” Louis says angling himself outside of Harry’s pink hole. He pushes in slowly causing Harry to throw his head back and grind the sheets. Louis thrusts in again and his head falls back. 

“Oh my god!” He says thrusting in again, and again, and again. The burning subsides as Harry finally feels Louis cock hit his prostate. He clenches hard as Louis rocks into him. Louis is whimpering above him and his arms are shaking. 

“You tired, baby? Want me to take over?” Louis pulls out and Harry sits up grabbing Louis’ back and holding him close against his chest. Louis pushed into him again and he wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and Harry thrusts up into Louis breathlessly. 

“I’m gonna come, Harry.” Louis moans.

“Come for me.” Harry bites his lip. “God, you're so gorgeous.” 

With one last whimper Louis comes undone, his body shaking as he lets loose in the condom. Harry rubs his back as he comes down from his high. Seeing Louis fucked out has Harry coming moments later, untouched, all over Louis stomach. Louis gets off him and throws out the condom. He walks over and sits on the bed besides Harry. Harry crawls up next to him and presses kisses along his neck.

“I've seen you touch yourself before, Louis.” He mumbles. 

“I know.” Louis shudders, his bones tired.

“Such a tease.” Harry smirks kissing him again, this time long and deep.

“Why haven’t you been in school?” Harry asks when they pull away, breathless. 

“I was embarrassed.” He hangs his head in shame. “To see you.” 

Harry laughed. “Why the hell would you be embarrassed to see me, Lou?” Harry asks cupping his face in his hand. 

“I got off to you, while my girlfriend was sucking my dick.” He blushed. “No exactly my proudest moment.” 

Harry grins, “I think it’s hot.” 

Louis rolls his eyes playfully, “Of course you do.” He pushes Harry on his back and straddles him. Harry takes that as a chance to tickle Louis' sides which has them laughing and clinging to each other for a good hour before they collapsed next to each other exhausted. 

“I should probably go.” Louis says. 

“Yeah, you have a long walk home.” Harry snorts.

“Oh god.” Louis throws a hand over his face, but gets dressed anyway. He plants Harry with one more kiss before disappearing into the darkness. Harry watches as Louis goes into his own room and walks up to his window. Harry does the same. He giggles when Louis presses his nose against the glass, Harry makes a funny face to which Louis grins. They wave and blow kisses until they both fall into bed and go to sleep.  
+

That next night Harry goes outside to sit on the back porch. He stays longer than usual. He was in a strange mood. He didn't feel happy, yet he wasn’t sad. He was confused. Louis went back to school and was extremely friendly with Harry, but they still didn't talk about their relationship. Could Harry even call it a relationship. He did not want another Zayn romance. Louis made him feel things differently. When he sees him in the hallway or in History, he feels this sickly feeling in his stomach and his chest tightens. He can't explain it.Lost in his thoughts he suddenly sees a shadow approaching the side of the house. Panic takes over him as he tries to see the person's face. It was too dark.

“Stay back!” Harry shout-whispers. “I know kung-fu, so I can fuck you up.” He stands but stops when he hears a familiar laugh.

“Chill out Jackie Chan, it’s me.” Louis whispers as he walks over the moonlight now showing his flawless face.

“Louis!” Harry says happily, he opens his arms and Louis walks over and practically falls into them. Harry gives him a slow kiss.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“Hi.” 

“Whats wrong?” Harry asks

“I’m such a pussy.” Louis says suddenly and shakes his head, his face falling into a pretty frow.

“What? No you’re not.” Harry scoots over and puts his arm around Louis, it fits, they fit. “Why would you say that?"

“Yes, I am. I can’t tell my parents what college I want to go to, I can’t come out to them.” He looks at Harry with tears in his eyes. “They expect me to go to Oxford and marry Eleanor and have ugly little demon children with her.” 

“Okay,” Harry says grinning softly as he wipes away one of Louis’ tears, “First of all, your children could never be ugly, even with Eleanor.” He whispers to his hair, “Second of all, fuck what they think, you do you Lou.” Louis pulls away.

“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have parents up you’re ass about everything you do.” 

Harry freezes, and Louis notices instantly. “I’m sorry… If i said something— I.”

Harry shakes his head, “No, it’s, it’s alright.” He looks at Louis and his heart catches. “I wish my parents cared about me.” He felt the tears coming. “My mum doesn’t even care if I run away, hell she would want me to.” He shakes his head.

Louis grips Harry’s face in his hands. “Tell me.” 

Harry sighs. “I just, I want to disappear, so fucking badly. I always wonder if I drop off the face of the earth will anyone care?” 

“I would care.” Louis mumbles softly.

“My dad left me and my mum a couple months ago.” Harry sighs getting ready to spill all of his secrets to this boy he met a month ago. “Vanished… My mum is not well.” Harry squeezes his eyes shut. “She has a drinking problem, a bad one, and she takes it out on my most of the time. I just.” He pauses as he tries to keep his emotions in. “I try so fucking hard, but it feels like I’m the parent, like I have to take care of her and I fucking hate it.” He shakes his head. “I thought if i buried myself in sex and drugs I could make it go away, but I can’t.” 

“Harry.. I—“ 

“I’m..” He sucks in a breath “I’m not done.” He clears is throat. “I spend three months of my life getting fucked over by a guy I thought I liked, by a guy I thought liked me, and now he doesn’t even call, he doesn’t even care, I deserve everything that happens to me, because I am a bad person.” Harry grabs Louis’ hand. “I was such an asshole to you for no reason, but you still took me to school, fuck Louis you walked for an hour home with me because I was too stubborn to take you’re ride.” 

Louis laughs. 

“Why did you do it?” Harry asks. 

“Because, Harry, I like you, and I’m not going to fuck you over like that guy.” He took Harry’s hand in his own. 

“Louis…” Harry sighs and pulls his hand away. Louis frowns.

“You don’t want to hold my hand?” He asks, hurt.

“No, Lou, I want to hold your hand, but you are the sun, and I am the moon, and we will never collide.” Harry says quietly looking up at the dark sky, no stars in site. 

“Harry. Wherever you are is the place I belong. You aren’t just the moon Harry, not even a star, you’re the whole fucking galaxy, and I’m falling for you… Hard.” 

“Everything about my life, is broken, Louis. Everything I touch, I break. I like darkness, because I can’t see. I don’t have to look at myself, and see what I am.” 

“Harry, what your mom is, its not you're fault, don’t ever let her blame you, do you hear me.” He grabs Harry’s face in his hands. “I’m going to help you get through this, I am here now.” He leans his forehead to Harry’s. “I’m not leaving, I like that you enjoy the night, I like that you're the moon.” 

Harry sighs softly, “So you don’t think that darkness is bad?"

Louis looks at him, and his eyes fill Harry’s heart with joy, “Without darkness, we can’t see the stars.” 

They kiss and it feels like they had infinity in their hands. Harry knew somehow that things were going to get better, things were going to turn up. He doesn’t know how, but he just does.He feels it in his bones. He knew by the way Louis held onto him so tightly. Harry looks up at the sky and throughout the clouds and throughout the mist, there was one star, the only star in site, but Harry didn't need that star to be his 100 though, because he already had Louis, and that was good enough for him.


End file.
